Turning Transactions Into
Tangos
Recently a couple came
to me. Around five years ago. they lived they had the most spectacular love
affair in the world. Now ironically, their question was. "How can we
separate without killing each other?" Human beings have become masters at
the art of turning bonds into bondage. In an active state of involvement with
life, we develop many intimate bonds with
people. Places, animals and objects. Initially these seem like wonderful
enhancements to our lives, but before we know it. we are bound by our work,
home, families, wealth and even our thoughts and emotions! We have become adept
at turning relationships into deals. unconditionality into instrumentality
tangos into transactions. We imprison ourselves in a cage of our own making.
Turning resources of
well-being into sources of toxicity. And yet, this is what we do, again and again - enshrine
our limitations, and then suffer them. The primary problem is that our lives
are dominated by a single question: `What is my takeaway?' This simple question
is the key to the entire psychological circus we have created for ourselves. It
has infused everything we do with a
spirit of mercantilism. Turning joyful participation into a guarded
calculation. sacraments into mutual benefit schemes. I am frequently asked, What is the takeaway from a spiritual
process?' I reply *If you want the real thing, stop the takeaway business. If you look for
takeaways. you will end up with petty gains. Being spiritual is not about
becoming healthy, successful, or even
reaching heaven.
When you are not trying
to be anything. or get anywhere, you learn to simply be. Nothing more is
required.' It is because most people do not know how to simply 'be' that
spiritual traditions came up with an easier as alternative: to live in love, compassion,
devotion or fellowship. These teachings were
mainly strategies to weed out all calculation and expectation from the human
equation with life. There is nothing inherently sacred about devotion: it is
just that a strong positive emotion towards something empowers you to act with
passionate
involvement without calculating the cost of your investment. Once you drop this
calculation, 90% of the work is over. The other10% will happen on its own
without any work from your end. If you drop the question.
'What about me', you
have nothing more to worry about. A new year is a reminder that time is
ticking, and the virus has been a painful reminder these past months that we
are not immortal. The time has come for us to move from entitlement to
gratitude. accumulation to awareness, calculation to consciousness. When we
turn tangos into transactions, we are left with meagre dividends. But when we
learn to dance with life itself, our every life breath becomes an
all-encompassing embrace of existence. We now live in a profound state of
compassion without conditions, boundlessness without barriers. The time has
come for a radically new orientation to life on this planet. Let us make it
happen.
